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Embracing My Insanity
This memoir explores the tortured relationship I had with my father until his death in 2001, and my attempts to understand how he created the me I am today. Insanity looks at the tender moments, though they were rare, and the violent episodes that may have resulted from real mental illness. Here are a few sample passages:
From Chapter 2
The front door slammed shut. My body tensed as Daddy moved through the house. His work boots sounded like the thump! thump! thump! of the giant in “Jack and the Beanstalk.” He passed our room as he walked down the hall to his and Mama’s bedroom. There wasn’t enough light to distinguish Daddy’s features, but the pale moonlight reflected the steel of the knife he carried.
Roger and I gasped at the same time. As I sat up in bed, I heard Roger do the same.
Daddy screamed at Mama, “Get out of here.”
With my heart banging in my chest, I grabbed blanket in two fists and held on. I knew in the bed below me Roger was rubbing the yellow satin band on his blanket between his fingers.
“Ricky, please, wait.” Mama’s voice begged.
From Chapter 18
In my 14 years, I had seen much. I had been excessively punished by Daddy many times. I had seen Daddy beat Mama to a bloody mess. I had been psychologically terrorized by his unpredictability. But in the midst of all that horror, Roger and I had never been the target of one of Daddy's drunken rages. And I suddenly found myself looking down the barrel of a gun my father aimed at me.
From Chapter 36
The doctor said he could not understand why Daddy was alive at all. He said the blood sugar was too high, the blood pressure was high, the liver was bad, he suspected the one kidney was bad, there had been a coronary event and probably a stroke. The doctor said Daddy defied everything he knew about medicine.
He said, "I need you to sign some paperwork."
Paperwork. Paperwork? I was unprepared to sign paperwork. What would signing paperwork mean? Would I be bound to pay for Daddy's medical expenses? Would I be responsible for all his health care needs? Would I be responsible for taking care of him and following doctor's orders if and when Daddy was released from the hospital? The ICU ward seemed to spin around me as the possible ramifications of signing anything bombarded my head.
Interviews with Judith Ortiz Cofer
These published interviews were the result of a series of interviews with Pulitzer Prize-nominee Judith Ortiz Cofer. While one of my Spanish professors at Agnes Scott College, Rafael Ocasio, conducted the interviews, my responsibility was to take the hundreds of pages of transcribed transcripts and form them into targeted interviews for publication in Bilingual Review and The Kenyon Review.Both articles can be found on Judith Ortiz Cofer's website. "Speaking in Puerto Rican: An Interview with Judith Ortiz Cofer" was published in the May-August 1992 issue of Bilingual Review. "Puerto Rican Literature in Georgia? An Interview with Judith Ortiz Cofer" was published in the Fall 1992 issue of The Kenyon Review.
Rita Diane Devlin
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